Notes of an IT Guy: My Comfort Zone

Just casually as I sit in front of my laptop, I just cant stop wondering about the several things that are going in my head.. In fact in my Life and I wonder how many other people have the similar spikes in their heads too. Mid 20's are very worrisome period of someone's life professionally as well as personally. Atleast it is for me. I have completed nearly 40-50 percent of my effective lifespan and quantitatively I can measure my life with just a few educational degrees and experience certificates. Perhaps most people in this IT industry (in this age group of course) will have the same tale with an added marriage certificate or onsite stamp. I don't remember what I had expected my life to be when i was in my college but I am sure it isn't the one I am having now. The innocence of the childhood and the excitement of the adulthood have seemed to be lost in this so called Rat Race.Time management is one of the major concerns. I don't know why the 24 hours of a day just pass without even doing anything substantial during the day. I measure a days worth on by counting the changes I have done to my life or any ones life on that particular day. And now I see, I have not done any thing in ages!! I used to love books infact I still do, but now all I have is a pile of unfinished books only because i seem to lose interest in mid way through a book. I like to see movies, but of lately I would prefer to watch my favorite movies over and over again but don't want to read a new one. I wonder if it reflects my subtle inability to change. I might have gone well into my comfort zone and that prevents me from any new change, even as small as a novel or a movie. I have become a Mechanical Robot programmed to work and live within an abstract confinement i.e. My Comfort Zone. Does this happen to many or is there anyone the  who can relate to me in this?

The Poet in Me

time and again i come back here..
mostly at times when i face my fears..
framing my thots and my reactions..
thru wrds i try to follow my passion..

for my princess i wrote, drenched in luv..
even for my angel, though a couple of..
som for the ones who are still close to my heart..
n i do expect them nvr to depart..

phrased my lines with the pain i bear..
showered wishes upon d ones who r dear..
wrote to find reason with my hearts mutiny..
fought big wars with my destiny..

my lines were forgotten.. so were my wrds..
the hidden meanin, often got unheard..
the frog in the well or the bird in the sky..
as if it was always just d woes of som guy..

srsly i don know wot i feel right now...
everythin just feels pretty blank somehow..
my poems r always my truest form..
thru these I hav tackled many storms..

as a brother to 1, and a friend to some..
even to a dear girl whom i call my mom..
i dedicate this poem as a token of my respect..
for you all hav becum my poems subject.. :)

The frog in the well

On the fields of life , there was a well
a small lonely frog inside it dwell..
unaware of the world that was beyond..
He craved for its joys.. its pomp n sound..

Alone he croaked n shed his tears..
Waited for the day he ld meet some1 dear..
leaves n twigs from the trees above.
Were d only fascinating things of love..

With no other frogs r fishes around..
There was no1 wid whom he ld b bound..
unhappy n worried of his solitude..
Prayed to Him 4 some more gratitude..

1day he saw a bird perched on his well...
On the sight of some1 his heart swell...
Perhaps it was an Angel from paradise..
All he could do is stand back in surprise..

The bird came to him and offered her aid...
Sweetly she heard to all the things he said..
Taking the burden of the frog on her wings..
she flew thru the clouds, no matter how tiring..

while riding thru the mighty skies..
the frog 4get dat its in d well his roots lies..
clung to the bird he traveled miles..
The bird always wanted only his smiles...

poor little bird soon became tired...
unable to touch the skies.. c retired...
perched on a tree which was near a pool..
she released the frog into the watery spool..

back in the water up looked the frog..
glaring at the bird his breath clogged...
happy was he alone in his small universe..
why did she made him feel so worse..

tracing back d path from the pond to his abyss..
thought the frog wot exactly did he miss..
perhaps well for frogs like sky was 4 birds ..
But why did is prayers go unheard!!!

I pity d bird.. so pure yet so unfortunate..
I wish d frog cld ever understand her state..
she was tired of his croaks n tired of his woes..
moreover it was the bitter truth she had 2 disclose..

frog and herself belonged 2 different terrene...
n no matter how much she cared widin ..
she may carry him as long as she lives..
bt can never grow wings n keep him revived..

Oh dear god I ask ur remit..
as d frog is unaware of his own deed..
hurt himself as well as his soulmates...
his world wont have the same innate...

far from sunlight.. far from rain..
far from happiness.. as well as pain...
no1 to share.. no1 to bear.. no1 2 care.. no1 2 fear..
He is d king of his well.. dead r alive.. does it matter??

should i complain...

standing alone on the path we travelled..
unable to move as if my feet is anchored..
staring at the trails that remain after you left..
just holding on to ur memories, that i have kept..

unable to talk as if i have lost my speech..
even if i understand that you are out of reach...
still i search for ur hand , as i am about to fall..
just wish someone to tell "M there". that's all.

can't go to my dear ones.. It's them i fear.
as i know they will laugh away on the pain i bear..
cant hear their remarks that "its all your fault"
"Dude, you only opened your misery's vault"

i bear a smile.. as if its drawn on my lips..
to all my tears.. this smile will eclipse.
i search for my angels, for i need them the most..
but i guess through my mistakes.. its them also i lost..

still as i take a turn and take another road..
all i see is the piles of my mistake as i strode..
finally standing on the highest cliff..
perhaps falling down from here might bring me relief..

MY GAURDIAN ANGEL..

Hapless helpless carrying devil’s own luck..
Decided to confront my destiny alone
Fell from sky and half way got stuck
Flivver efforts couldn’t be undone..

Awaiting 4 d reaper to take me down
To some iron chains on fires of hell..
The sky flared at onset of His’s scion
To mollify my anguish n to be my angel

As a child, tightly i held her hand..
Went blindly on the roads she took..
All i knew no matter where i land
She ll read my heart like an open book..

Silently she tries to wipe my tears..
Secure i feel whenever she is near..
Through her words my thoughts get clear..
Of all my friends she is most dear..

Strength regained, i stand head high..
“nothing in this world can stop me now”
With my angel’s support i look at sky..
And to her i make my final vow

The Bird's Tale

“Calm seas never make a sailor n
Low hills never make a climber..”
While fluttering her wings
Thru the torrent of winds
In board daylight she used to fly
Dreaming big and aiming very high..

Tweeting differently from other birds
She tried to reach the mighty clouds..
She fell down far from her goal
As Sun’s glare played its role..
Stranded on earth she looked at sky..
Cursing the day when she learnt to fly.

Tears rolled down as she flared her ambitions..
Pain in heart forbade her mind to function..
Thought about her years of prayer..
Which couldn’t take her anywhere?
But it was God’s design she failed to comprehend
To make her strong as she has d world to withstand..

None prayers have ever gone unheard..
When they come from something such pure..
Sun will be made to cease its glare..
clouds shall be brought down somwher.
Time will come when she’ll again touch the sky.
Over the horizon she‘ll make her own way..

Past vs present

Words of love n words of care..
All i ask her is to be a bit fair
Trying to find the truth in her lies
I find her staring with doubtful eyes

She promised life and promised me sky
Dunno when i traded a good-bye
Wrapped in her arms i thought m safe
But to my hurtings why she went deaf..

I lost my path and lost my way
Teaching me love she went away..
Lookin deep into d realms of my hrt
My void and I were difficult to part

Stood on the ashes wher I had burned
N waited in despair for her to return..
Tested my destiny as my love I trust..
For she was d 1 who loved me d most

Time wounded but time finally healed..
N smile surfaced from d depths wher it hid
Happiness everywhere n no more regret..
But still i crave her dimple’s secret.. 